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                                                                Marlow Brooks is a Life Coach, Author, and Entrepreneur.

                                                       She is passionate about the many issues that woman face today.

 Her God-given purpose is to help build strong confident women. 

She believes in learning from your mistakes, and not repeating them.

The choices you make today will determine your tomorrow.


Love Causes No Harm


Love: is an intense feeling of deep affection, a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone, to have a great interest in someone, to like very much. When you know what love is, You will quickly identify

when it's not. why are some women prone to abuse? (1) Love starved (2) Tolerate poor boundaries, (3) Low self-esteem, and it could be several other reasons as well. Sometimes we can desire love and companionship so much that we allow anything or anybody into our lives.

when a woman has no paternal deposit, she searches for the approval of any man. (R.C Blakes)

For some women that have been raised without their fathers, can be"love-starved." Starved for deep affection, starved for someone's affirmation, starved for someone's attention. Even being an adult, I believe that some of us still have the "Daddy's Little Girl" syndrome within us that wants to feel love and protected in the arms of a man.

The continuous cycle of bad relationships is a reality for many of us today, but the only way you can stop a repetitive cycle is to deal with the root cause and break it. You could easily spend your life repeating the same lessons until it's learned. I don't believe you can control who is attracted to you, but you certainly have a choice to entertain that person or not. For an abuser, usually, there are sure signs or characteristics that you can pick up on. Temperament for one, very easily angered or jealous disposition. They like to play mind gamesLove: is an intense feeling of deep affection, a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone, to have a great interest in someone, to like very much. When you know what love is, You will quickly identify

when it's not. why are some women prone to abuse? (1) Love starved (2) Tolerate poor boundaries, (3) Low self-esteem, and it could be several other reasons as well. Sometimes we can desire love and companionship so much that we allow anything or anybody into our lives.

when a woman has no paternal deposit, she searches for the approval of any man. (R.C Blakes)

For some women that have been raised without their fathers, can be"love-starved." Starved for deep affection, starved for someone's affirmation, starved for someone's attention. Even being an adult, I believe that some of us still have the "Daddy's Little Girl" syndrome within us that wants to feel love and protected in the arms of a man.

The continuous cycle of bad relationships is a reality for many of us today, but the only way you can stop a repetitive cycle is to deal with the root cause and break it. You could easily spend your life repeating the same lessons until it's learned. I don't believe you can control who is attracted to you, but you certainly have a choice to entertain that person or not. For an abuser, usually, there are sure signs or characteristics that you and make themselves the victim. Then you have those that hide it very well.

Abuse of any kind is unacceptable. Physical, verbal, or mental. I know from personal experience, no one deserves to be abused! Some have been in abusive relationships so long that they have become immune to it, and think this is normal behavior. And you wonder why you're manifesting depression anxiety from the physical and mental torment of abuse. Hurt, pain, resentment has now become your belief system, and you feel this is all you deserve, or maybe you can't do any better. Our belief system is formed when we emotionally attach ourselves to people, circumstances, and experiences.

You may feel as though you're not enough. Are you always apologizing for being who you are? Hypersensitive to criticism and need a lot of reassurance because of low self-esteem. Being in an abusive relationship should be taken seriously. As a direct result of abuse, you can develop mental health conditions such as substance abuse, thoughts of suicide, post-traumatic stress. You were not created to be abused. You are fearfully and wonderfully made and deserve to be treated with love and respect. You teach people how to treat you; by the way, you allow them to manage you; that's why setting boundaries are so important; you know what you will and will not tolerate. If you don't love you, who will?

The Single Woman


Lonely days and cold nights, not having the companionship that you desire. But life must undoubtedly go on. Some may feel like being single is a curse, and some may not. It's all a matter of perspective on how you see it. It's the same as seeing the glass as half empty or half full. I will say that it is a natural feeling to desire something or someone to love. From the beginning of time, When God created Adam, He said, it's not good for man to be alone. 

I will make him a helper suitable for himself. Though Adam was in a perfect relationship with God first, God wanted him the have a help-meet to build and grow together to serve His purpose.

There is nothing wrong with desiring to have a mate, even if people try to tell you that. I've heard a quote saying: "Being married won't heal you, and being single won't kill you." My question is, how do you know? Love is a prescription that aids healing when it's done with pure intentions of the heart. I have testimonies from women that in the worst time of their lives is when they met their husbands.

This, in fact, helped to bring healing to them in the trial that they were experiencing. Scientists are finding that loneliness has real medical consequences, and the brain sees it as pain.

This is why I encourage young women and older as well, to live your best life. Pursue your goals, dreams, and interest. Don't let your best days get by you. Don't sit around waiting for some knight in shining amour. It's challenging on the dating scene right now, and sure many of my single women can attest the this. 

 mean, just getting a decent date alone is a shot in the dark. Then if you do get the time, some of the games that men play today are dangerous, not only for us but for them as well. They're a lot of women who've been hurt and disappointed by men that they loved, so you may not know how someone may react to these types of situations.



Girl Talk


Let' face it, girl, we all want love, but at what cost. If someone really loves you will know it. We are amazing creatures. If something feels wrong about a relationship the truth of the matter it probably is. We are incredibly intuitive as women, deep down you know if a relationship is right or not. Our bodies, even tell us when something is not right.

Do not just go on the feelings of emotions alone, but listen to your inner feeling when it comes to someone your dating before you go all in and find yourself in the situation again that you just came out of. Sometimes we really want a relationship to work out, so we trick ourselves into thinking the situation is ok.

If you keep finding yourself giving yourself pep talks; if you keep having to excuse unacceptable or inappropriate behavior; or you have to convince yourself to stay, then you probably leave. If you're not putting yourself first, then that's abuse. If you feel like you're just going through the motion and you are feeling sad and alone, doubtful, insecure you're

probably not with the right one.

A true gentleman will always make you feel like a lady-loved and appreciated, which would build your self -esteem, not tear it down. Don't get me wrong; no relationship is perfect. But if you feel emotionally and physically exhausted, you have something to seriously to think about. I too have experienced some relationship pitfalls myself, but one thing I have learned, Is that wherever there is an inward feeling there is an outward manifestation. So just remember this, loves gives and does not take.

What Your Eyes Can't See


I wish I had tonya's life. She's smart, she's beautiful, successful and she has a great relationship with a wonderful man that loves her. How did she get so lucky? This is our perception of people that seemingly have it all together, but sometimes what we see is not always reality. Sometimes all the upkeep of the outer appearance is to mask the pain on the inside. To avoid dealing with the pain, We cover it up with status, success, clothes, hair, makeup, etc..

For some, the pain, trauma started from childhood. Whatever you may be dealing with, you need to deal with the issue at hand and be healed. There is something called brain dumping where you go back through your experiences to remember where it started until you have that ah-ha moment, and the light goes off. To get to the root of any problem, you must know where and why it started, and you may therapy to help you past whatever the underline issue is.

Low-self esteem, fear, rejection are all connected and root of something that we have experienced in our lives. The root of something is internal, not external. When you keep working a symptom of an issue, you may get some results, but it will be limited because you're not dealing with the problem in its totality. For example: getting into bad relationships because your lonely is the symptom (cause), but it can be caused because of other things such as low self-esteem. If you address what the root cause is, you can solve the effect/symptoms.

In short, deal with the pain, confront the issue. Don't use other vices to cover up the hurt you're dealing with inside. Not dealing with an issue over a long period can cause a lot of mental and emotional damage to your life, as well as others around you. And some thoughts and emotions can become so ingrained in us that it becomes a regular part of our life. Don't Deal, Heal!

Dating Blues


Is dating love, commitment becoming a thing of the past? It sure seems that way. Some statistics say that marriage is plummeting, especially among millennials, but don't lose hope. There are some good men out there looking for you. If you are currently dating, remember, just have fun! And enjoy the one your with. Take your time and get to know them, collect data to see if this person may be someone you can potentially spend your life with. After you have been dating a while, of course. If you're looking for a particular kind of man, I believe you should also resemble what you desire.

WISDOM PRINCIPLES

We need to have wisdom in every aspect of our lives, but especially when it comes to dating, marriage, long term relationships. You have to be very careful about those matters. Having the right partner is very important. Having the right or wrong partner will have a tremendous effect on your life. We should not let our guards down to quickly or talk too much. We can give out more information than we need to. And it could come back to bite you in the end. They're listening to everything you've been saying and what you want in a potential mate, and the information that you have told them will be used to deceive you. They will be that person temporarily until they get what they want. I know you're hoping this is the one, and he makes you feel like you haven't felt in years... But proceed with caution, you're meeting their representative.

LONELINESS CAN DECEIVE YOU.

Don't allow yourself to become so thirsty that you will drink anything. Meaning, loneliness plays a part in leading you into a wrong relationship. Ask me how I know. Sometimes we trust an individual too much too soon. Maybe, because of what the individual says or because they have a particular belief system. All these things can make us believe something about a person, that's not true. You must always look at the character of the person. Their mental and moral qualities will tell you everything you need to know about that person. Also, their mindset of where there going. What are their goals, dreams, and vision for their life and what they're currently doing right now? What is most important to them in their life. (core values)

RED FLAGS

We, as women, have to train our minds to look at the long term outcome, not just the moment.

When you see the red flags waving, pay attention. (1) moving too quickly ( 2) Overlapping relationships (3) Not returning calls

(4)Lying about little things (5) Bad Temperament/ abusive language( 6) Too clingy. That's just to name a few. Ladies!!! Be alert and on guard. Ask questions, because questions uncover motives, hidden agendas. If they don't like you asking too many questions, consider that a sign as well. I have heard this saying many times that we attract what we are, but I'm not in absolute agreement with that. I'm not saying it's not true, but we have no control over who finds us attractive, but we do have control over who we entertain.

The Father Factor


Statistics say that girls without fathers are more susceptible to becoming promiscuous. In fact, a study published found that father's that were absent before the age of six were five times more likely to become a pregnant teenager. I'm a confidence coach, not a psychologist. But I can tell from personal experience of being a woman that grew up without her father, there is some truth to some of these statistics. There can be certain behaviors that are attached to father-less daughters. This may not always be the case, but for most, it can be.

A girl's father is the first man in her life. This is the first man that she will love, admire, and look to for guidance. Her face lights up when daddy tells her how beautiful she is, and that is the beginning of her self-esteem, self-worth. This is where she will begin to get her perception of men and relationships throughout her life, and this will set the tone for what she will accept and or even tolerate.

Girls who have little to no relationship with their father have difficulty forming relationships with men.

Again, this is not something I'm just writing about, I know this from personal experience. When the father is absent, we subconsciously go looking for him, and may not even know it. We crave the love and attention that we never received as a little girl, so we proceed to move from one broken relationship to another in hopes of finding the love of our father. This is a very destructive cycle. There are a lot of adult women walking around, still looking for the love of their father, and there in abusive, broken relationships because of low self-esteem.

When you're dealing with low self-esteem, positive affirmations may help handle or even reverse negative feelings about ourselves. Affirmations may help us increase our self-reliance by enabling us to take action to build our confidence. To change your self-esteem, you have to change the way that you interact with yourself and others. If you say negative things about your self that what you will get.

Affirmations:

I am beautiful

I am worthy of love

I believe in the person in becoming

I let go of negative self-talk

I'm proud of myself and what I have accomplished

I represent beauty inside and out

Food for thought: If you are exhibiting certain behaviors, cycles, patterns in your life, recognize it for what it is, and deal with the issue at its core. Ask yourself, why am I doing the things that I'm doing, why I'm I behaving in this manner? You have to find the root cause before you can heal the symptom.